Where shall I tread

I feel like I've been learning a whole host of lessons about myself recently, some of which have been difficult to accept; I guess it's hard thinking about the kind of person you are or have become, or the things you are doing, intentionally or not.

My truth is there is a very negative part of my personality born from many reasons which I know I have to work against.

But we all have demons to bear. We all have thing to deal with. Life is not always rosy. And when in your in the midst of that maybe that's when, against all odds, you have to open your eyes to see those tiniest and most insignificant of moments which can be the most beautiful and perfect.

We are all human beings who think and feel and are capable of so much. We are all different and unique and special and have something different to give. I think I'm realising just how much we are in our own hands though. I know only we can make changes in ourselves, only we can drive ourselves to better. Only we can decide that we can do something, do deserve things.

The past is the past. You can't change it, yet you can decide how it affects your future. It seems so easy and yet the hardest thing is to find that belief when you feel that your ability to make different choices is gone for whatever reason. It's scary to suddenly look around you and find that somehow you've stopped making decisions and that bit by bit life is passing you by.

This post isn't about complaining about my situation. It's actually about establishing contact with other people again. It's about a man trying to be honest: open in his struggles, discussing his attempts to find his way.

And maybe, just maybe through sharing and communicating I can reach out to others. Perhaps I can even remind those I care about that I'm sorry I'm absent and that I'm trying.