The Dealt Avenue

I've been thinking about the way our feelings change moment to moment and the way people deal with things.

My mind started racing as thought about someone's suggestion that I might feel awkward in future looking back at, to name one entry specifically 'Great Love', and I don't know - that I would feel silly or be embarrassed I suppose.

The truth is the things that we do are intricately linked to the way we feel at any given moment, and its not at all surprising to me that how we feel carries over into the activities of a persons life. It doesn't surprise me that, especially we are tying to communicate something of oneself, then if they are successful then what's born of this will be like momentary glimpse of that persons emotional heart.

It was written as I was letting go of someone who was incredibly important to me and it is charged with the pain of knowing somehow a love was lost, something I as a human being find it hard to take for many, sometimes decade old reasons. And should that happen I have seen some of the many different ways that we as people search for a beginning to move forward from; by sleeping around, washing it away on a sea of alcohol, by pouring themselves into work, pumping iron at the gym, with alcohol, getting into another heavy relationship, retreating home or going on holiday.

I pass no judgement on an of those methods but only note that what we do is a very personal thing. So here is my way. For me it's about allowing myself to be involved, living those emotions and making sense of them. Slowly finding a way to heal and lay that first paving stone, place the first cobble towards a new life imagined in belief.

Those words committed to paper are a snapshot of the person I was in a very special moment. And as for the reasons behind sharing them, well I think it was to reach out and try to connect with the world as true to this souls flight as I could, however brutal and raw the expression may be.

If you've ever felt alien, isolated or as if you are somehow misfit and ever so slightly disconnected with the world around you, then you yearn to reach out and engage with it again. Perhaps I'm not the only one who has felt this or perceives this way.