heartbroken

I don’t often post political things though I suppose I do hold strong opinions, however for this I have little choice: the UK has chosen in a national referendum to leave the EU.

A majority of the people in my homeland have just expressed sentiments by virtue of their vote that I simply cannot stand by. I believe that against the backdrop of all our differences the best things happen when we come together.

I’m disoriented. Now granted I’ve been up all night watching it happen but that’s not it. I feel hollow. My hands have been tied and I’m struggling for words.

I am disgusted with the way the campaigns were run on both sides. Toxic, poisonous rhetoric and shit slinging. Made up figures and the stoking of now obviously deep seated latent worries and fears. But beyond that there was nothing - no respect for what we have, what we might lose and at the end of the day no regard for anything beyond what would be in our own interest and benefit. As a friend put it, perhaps it’s selfishness although looking at the votes I think worse it could just be the ultimate two fingers.

And I’m tired of hearing about immigration. I’m sick of it - I’ve been hearing it my whole life. Given my heritage it was often snidely directed at me. I used to joke about my being a bad Brit but it was only ever that, a joke - I’m British through and through, from the sense of humour to the stiff upper lip through to the awkwardness as expressed through my embedded inner Hugh Grant. But for all the talk of our multicultural society, a melting pot, where are the actions that speak inclusivity. I’m tired of anything that looks, behaves different or is simply something other being shunned and scorned.

And now we have chosen being divisionist, isolationist. I always knew there was an underlying ‘little island’ mentality, but I had what now seems like a crazy notion that it could coexist with other ideas and I had no concept it was so widespread, pervasive and incapable of reason. I thought ultimately individuals would appreciate some value in opening their eyes and hearts outwards but that wasn’t even on the discussion table. I can’t help but read this ultimately as a signal that we wish to turn inward.

I’ve always been proud of being British, and though I’ve sometimes had harsh words I’ve always sipped my tea and I’ve always cared. But I’m not proud of this decision. I'm heartbroken. And like many I know I’ve challenging questions to face that will likely have painful answers.